Wearing The Britches

Come all young men where e’er you be
And listen to me lamentations
I courted a girl beyond compare
And I loved her with admiration
At length in time she became my wife
Twas not for beauty but for riches
And all the time it causes strife
To see which of us will wear the britches

O Paddy Kane it is my name
Me height it is five foot eleven
And me wife is nearly not so big
She only measures four foot seven
The hedges I have oft times stripped
I’ve left them bare of rods and switches
Her skin that’s fair sure I’ve turned black
But still she says she’ll wear my britches

Well, I am a tailor to my trade
At cutting out I am quite handy
But sure all money that I make
She lays it out on tea and brandy
Now sometimes I do shout and ball
With nothing going but rogues and witches
Her head goes oft times to the wall
Still she says she’ll wear me britches

One morning at the tea and eggs
Content and sitting by the fire
Well, she broke the teapot on my legs
And left me leaping to retire
Now I do shout and bawl
As I go hopping on my crutches
I wished I’d broke her collar bone
The day I let her wear me britches

So come all young men where e’er you be
Don’t marry a wife if she’s enchanting
For if you do, you’ll be like me
With other men she’ll go gallanting
Now my advice it is to you
To marry for love and not for riches
And be sure of a wife with a civil tongue
That’ll give you leave to wear your britches