Toon O’ Kelso (1)

Trad

It was in the toon o’ Kelso
A lovely woman did dwell
She loved her husband dearly
But another man twice as well

Singin, fal di la lairly, fal di la lairy, fal di la lairy, an

She went doon tae the chemist’s shop
Some medicine for tae buy
For she had resolved in her ain mind
That her auld man should die

Singin, fal di la lairly, fal di la lairy, fal di la lairy, an

She bought a dozen marrow bones
And she’s ground them up right sma’
And before he’d eaten the half o’ them
He couldnae see ony at a’

Singin, fal di la lairly, fal di la lairy, fal di la lairy, an

Im tired o’ my life he cried
I’m tired o’ my life
I think I’ll awa’ and drown myself
And that will end this strife

Singin, fal di la lairly, fal di la lairy, fal di la lairy, an

So down the street together they went
She whistled and she sang
Oh my husbands going to drown himself
And I’m sure he’s free from sin

Singin, fal di la lairly, fal di la lairy, fal di la lairy, an

Well doon the street together they went
Til they came to the waters brim
Said he, You’ll take a great long race
To help to ding me in

Singin, fal di la lairly, fal di la lairy, fal di la lairy, an

So she went back a great lang race
Tae help tae ding him in
But the cunning old bugger he jumped aside
And she gaed tumblin’ in

Singin, fal di la lairly, fal di la lairy, fal di la lairy, an

Oh save ma life, oh save ma life
Oh save me when I call
Oh how can I save your life
When I canna see ony at a’

Singin, fal di la lairly, fal di la lairy, fal di la lairy, an

Well she swam up and she swam doon
Til she cam tae the waters brim
But the cunning old man he got a long stick
And he poked her further in

Singin, fal di la lairly, fal di la lairy, fal di la lairy, an

Ye jaud, ye jaud, ye silly auld jaud
Ye thought ye had me blind
But I’ll gae whistlin’ hame again
And another wife I’ll find

Singin, fal di la lairly, fal di la lairy, fal di la lairy, an

There are many versions of this song throughout the English speaking countries. This is a Scottish version. Take a look at The Ould Woman From Wexford or Tipping It Up To Nancy for an Irish variant. See also this other version of Toon O’Kelso.