The Waterford Boys

For Fun and Diversion we have met together
I tell you from Waterford hither we came
We crossed the Big Ocean in dark stormy weather
Our pockets were light and our Hearts were the same
Sad at leaving Old Ireland we’re once more on dry land
By the roadside a tavern I chanced for to spy
And as I was melting my pockets I felt in
For the price of a drink I was mortally dry

For we are the boys of such Fun and such Eloquence
Drinking and Dancing and all other Joys
For Ructions Destructions Diversions an Devilment
Who’s to compare with The Waterford Boys

In the tavern I rolled in the landlord he strolled
And good morrow says he and says I if you please
Will you give me a bed and then bring me some bread
And a bottle of porter and a small piece of cheese
My bread and cheese ended I then condescended
To take my repose sure I bade them good night
When under the clothes I was trying to doze
First I stuck in my toes and then popped out the light

Well I wasn’t long sleeping when I heard something creeping
And gnawing and chawing around the bed post
My breath I suspended but the noise never ended
Thinks I you have damnable claws for a ghost
Now to make myself easy for I felt rather lazy
Well over my head I again pulled the clothes
When “Moses what’s that”, sure a great big jack-rat
With one leap from the floor jumped right up to my nose

For we are the boys of such Fun and such Eloquence
Drinking and Dancing and all other Joys
For Ructions Destructions Diversions an Devilment
Who’s to compare with The Waterford Boys

Well I reached for a hobnail and made him a bobtail
And wrestled with rats to the clear light of day
When the landlord came in and he said with a grin
For your supper and bed you’ve five shillings to pay
“Five shillings for what, now don’t be disgracing yourself”
Says I to the rogue “if you please, when I can’t sleep
With these rats you’ve the devil’s own face on you
To charge me five shillings for dry bread and cheese”

Oh the landlord went raring and lifting and tearing
He jumped through the window and he kicked in the door
When he could go no further he roared
“Meela murder, these rats they are eating me up by the store
Sure they sleep in my stable they eat from my table
They’ve wrestled my dogs and they’ve killed all my cats”
“Truth then” says I “just give me those five shillings
And I’ll tell you a way to get rid of the rats”

“I will then” said he “we’ll invite them to supper
And dry bread and cheese lay before them for sure
Never mind if they’re willing, but charge them five shilling
And devil the rat will you ever see more”