The Miltown Cockroach

Oh, the West County Clare is a beautiful place
Its people a charming and musical race
‘Tis pleasant to view it by car or by coach
But a blot on the landscape is the Miltown Cockroach
Rally ra fol the doh, rally ra fol the dee

The Miltown Cockroach is a martyr for beer
His eye it is evil, his aspect severe
He barks like a bulldog and kicks like a mule
And he drinks and he fights and he plays game of pool
Rally ra fol the doh, rally ra fol the dee

In Sweet Miltown Malbay one night in July
I retired to my bed as the sunrise was nigh
Established in comfort with grunts and with yawns
I shortly was dreaming of tunes and rabhcáns
Rally ra fol the doh, rally ra fol the dee

But I woke with a start after two hours or so
To a loud crunching noise coming from my big toe
This insect most foul then came into my view
On the sole of my foot he proceeded to chew
Rally ra fol the doh, rally ra fol the dee

So I jumped from the bed with a terrible screech
Saying “Mister Cockroach, of the law you’re in breach
On a citizen’s blood you may not slake your thirst
Without gaining the donor’s approval at first”
Rally ra fol the doh, rally ra fol the dee

“Of the legal position”, says he “I have doubt
For this blood is at least fifty eight percent stout
So stop quoting law, and lie down again quick
Till myself and my buddies conclude our picnic”
Rally ra fol the doh, rally ra fol the dee

I tried to sweet-talk him with eloquent chat
Saying, “a gourmet like you should know better than that
Look at my carcass, ’tis scrawny and tough
While of plump tender youths there are surely enough”
Rally ra fol the doh, rally ra fol the dee

Says the cockroach, “You speak like a poet and a sage
But truly you don’t taste too bad for your age
My friends have decided that here we will dine
While the meat isn’t great sure the pickle is fine!”
Rally ra fol the doh, rally ra fol the dee

So I tackled those insects with brain and with brawn
We struggled and tore at each other till dawn
I fought them with bites and with blows and with kicks
I tried burning and drowning and all sorts of tricks
Rally ra fol the doh, rally ra fol the dee

But that offspring of Satan came at me in gangs
Snarling and showing me their venomous fangs
They crawled from the ditches and out of the sewers
Ten thousand or more of them six-legged hoors
Rally ra fol the doh, rally ra fol the dee

They covered the ground like a black shiny sheet
Till I knew it was time for to sound the retreat
I turned and ran, full of loathing and dread
And from Sweet Miltown Malbay that morning I fled
Rally ra fol the doh, rally ra fol the dee

Oh, the Black Widow spider is not a nice toy
And the African Cobra is one ugly boy
But both of them surely are cuddly and fair
Compared to the man-eating cockroach from Clare
Rally ra fol the doh, rally ra fol the dee