The British Army

When I was young I used to be
As fine a man as ever you’d see
Til the Prince of Wales he said to me:
“Come and join the British army”

Toora loora loora loo
They’re looking for monkeys up at the zoo
And says I: “If I had a face like you
I’d join the British army”

Sarah Comden baked a cake
‘Twas all for poor oul Slattery’s sake
She threw herself into the lake
Pretending she was barmy

Toora loora loora loo
They’re looking for monkeys up at the zoo
And says I: “If I had a face like you
I’d join the British army”

Corporal Daly went away
His wife got in the family way
And the only thing that she could say
Was: “Blame the British army”

Toora loora loora loo
They’re looking for monkeys up at the zoo
And says I: “If I had a face like you
I’d join the British army”

Corporal Kelly’s a terrible drought
Just give him a couple of jars of stout
And he’ll beat the enemy with his mouth
And save the British army

Toora loora loora loo
They’re looking for monkeys up at the zoo
And says I: “If I had a face like you
I’d join the British army”

Kilted soldiers wear no drawers
Won’t you kindly lend them yours
The rich must always help the poor
To save the British army

Toora loora loora loo
They’re looking for monkeys up at the zoo
And says I: “If I had a face like you
I’d join the British army”

When I was young I used to be
As fine a man as ever you’d see
Til the Prince of Wales he said to me:
“Come and join the British army”

Toora loora loora loo
They’re looking for monkeys up at the zoo
And says I: “If I had a face like you
I’d join the British army”