Seven Drunken Nights

Trad

As I went home on Monday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door
Where my old horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door
Where my old horse should be?

Ah, you’re drunk, you’re drunk you silly old fool
Still you can not see
That’s a lovely sow
That me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a day I’ve travelled
A hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow
Sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Tuesday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door
Where my old coat should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door
Where my old coat should be

Ah, you’re drunk, you’re drunk you silly old fool
Still you can not see
That’s a woollen blanket
That me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a day I’ve travelled
A hundred miles or more
But buttons in a blanket
Sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Wednesday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe up on the chair
Where my old pipe should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe up on the chair
Where my old pipe should be

Ah, you’re drunk, you’re drunk you silly old fool
Still you can not see
That’s a lovely tin whistle
That me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a day I’ve travelled
A hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle
Sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Thursday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw two boots beneath the bed
Where my old boots should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed
Where my old boots should be

Ah, you’re drunk, you’re drunk you silly old fool
Still you can not see
They’re two lovely Geranium pots
Me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a day I’ve travelled
A hundred miles or more
But laces in Geranium pots
I never saw before

And as I went home on Friday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed
Where my old head should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed
Where my old head should be

Ah, you’re drunk, you’re drunk you silly old fool
Still you can not see
That’s a baby boy
That me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a day I’ve travelled
A hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on
Sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Saturday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw two hands upon her breasts
Where my old hands should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them hands upon your breasts
Where my old hands should be

Ah, you’re drunk, you’re drunk you silly old fool
Still you can not see
That’s a lovely night gown
That me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a day I’ve travelled
A hundred miles or more
But fingers in a night gown
Sure I never saw before

As I went home on Sunday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a thing in her thing
Where my old thing should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her:
Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that thing in your thing
Where my old thing should be

Featuring the two last verses which The Dubliners wheren’t “allowed” to sing… Still, the groups version of the song were banned on Irish radio.

The Dubliners got this song from Joe Heaney (Seosamh Ó hÉanaí).