Paddy McGinty’s Goat

Bert Lee | R P Weston

Now Patrick McGinty, an Irishman of note
Fell in for a fortune and he bought himself a goat
Says he: “Sure of goat’s milk I’m going to have me fill”
But when he brought the Nanny home he found it was a Bill
All the young ladies who live in Killaloo
They’re all wearing bustles like their mothers used to do
They each wear a bolster beneath their petticoat
And leave the rest to providence and Paddy McGinty’s goat

Missis Burke to her daughter said: “Listen Mary Jane
Who was the lad you were cuddling in the lane?
He’d long wiry whiskers a hanging from his chin”
“‘Twas only Pat McGinty’s goat”, she answer’d with a grin
Then she went away from the village in disgrace
She came back with powder and paint upon her face
She’d rings on her fingers, she wore a sable coat
You bet your life she didn’t get those from Paddy McGinty’s goat

Now Norah McCarthy the knot was goin’ to tie
She washed out her trousseau and she hung it out to dry
Along came the goat and he saw the bits of white
And chewed up all her falderals, upon her wedding night
“Oh, turn out the light quick”, she shouted out to Pat
For though I’m your bride, sure I’m not worth looking at
I had two of ev’rything, I told you when I wrote
But now I’ve one of nothing all thro’ Paddy McGinty’s goat

Mickey Riley he went to the races t’other day
He won twenty dollars and he shouted: “Hip Hooray!”
He held up the note shouting: “Look at what I’ve got!”
The goat came up and grabbed at it and swallowed up the lot
“He’s eaten me banknote”, says Mickey with a hump
They went for the doctor and they got a stomach pump
They pumped and they pumped for the twenty dollar note
But all they got was ninepence out of Paddy McGinty’s goat

Now ould Paddy’s goat had a wondrous appetite
And one day for breakfast he had some dynamite
A big box of matches he swallowed all serene
Then out he went and swallowed up a quart of paraffin
He sat by the fireside, he didn’t give a hang
He swallowed a spark and exploded with a bang
So if you go to heaven you can bet a dollar note
That the angel with the whiskers on is Paddy McGinty’s goat