Mean Talking Blues

Well, I’m the meanest man, I never had a brain
All I scatter is aches and pains
I’m carbolic acid, and a poison face
And I stand flat-footed in favor of crime and disgrace
If I ever done a good deed, I’m sorry of it

I’m mean in the East, mean in the West
Mean to the people that I like the best
I go around a-causin’ lot of accidents
And I push folks around, and I cause train wrecks
I’m a big disaster, just a-goin’ somewhere to happen
I’m an organized famine, studyin’ how I can be a little bit meaner

Everybody in this world looks mean to me
There’s nothing put here good on Earth that I can see
Stealing nickels off of dead people’s eyes
And I spend them trying to learn how to get a little wiser
Be a little meaner
I’m still too good to suit myself
Mean, that’s all; Just plain old mean

I ride around on the subway trains
Laughing at the tight shoes dealin’ you pain
And I laugh when the car shakes from side to side
And I laugh my loudest when other people cry
I just can’t help it I guess
I was born good, Just like you…
But I turned off mean

I hate everybody don’t think like me
And I’d rather see you dead, than ever see you free
I’d rather see you starved to death, than see you at work
And I’m readin’ all I can now, to learn how to hurt
Deal misery, spread diseases
Keep you without no vote
Keep you without no union

I hurt when I see you gettin’ long so well
I’d ten times rather see you in the fires of hell
I couldn’t stand to see you in a house fixed nice
I’d like to keep you in that rotten hole there, all full of bugs and lice
Roaches, turnamights, sand fleas, tater bugs, grub worms, stingarees
Vinegarones, tarantulas, spiders, childs of the earth, ticks and blow-flies
These is all of my little angels
Help me do the best parts of my meanness
And mosquiters…

Well, I used to be a pretty nice feller
But I turned a scab and then I turned yeller
Fought ev’ry union with teeth and toenail
And I sprouted a six-inch stinger right in my tail
I growed horns; Cut ’em off, I wanted to fool you
I hate union everywhere
Because God likes unions
And I hate God

If I can get the fat to hating the lean
That’d tickle me more than anything I’ve seen
And then get the colors to fightin’ one another
Friend against friend, and sister against brother
That’ll be it, the striped against the polka-dots
That’ll be just it
Everybody’s brains a-boilin’ in turpentine
And their teeth falling out all up and down the sidewalks
That’ll just suit me
I ain’t no union man
Because I hate everything that’s organized and planned
I love to hate and I hate to love
I’m mean, just mean, that’s all, just plain old mean